Personal

Aftermath

Maybe that’s the aftermath of it all — of me, growing up as a reader. Maybe I’ve already read too many ‘I-saw-him-reading-my-favorite-book-in-a-coffee-shop’ interactions, enough for me to spend hours inside a local café near school hoping that the same will eventually happen to me. I don’t know, man. Maybe I was just looking for a man version of myself. Someone who reads books as much as I do, someone who drinks coffee atleast three times a day, someone who loves art museums, someone who hates tomatoes on hamburgers, someone who’s willing to rewatch Interstellar with me on a Saturday night.

I don’t wanna force this ‘perfect guy’ idea on every guy that I meet, because certainly no one is, but I’m still hopeful, you know. I know someday, I’ll finally be getting that clicking moment with someone — and it would be magical. Funny, but magical.

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Personal

Friday, 9:33 p.m.

Sometimes, I look at this person and think to myself, what a beautiful world we’re all in. On Mondays, I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. On Tuesdays, my small hands wanted to hold his hand and draw circles on his palm. On Wednesdays, I wanted to just stare at his face. On Thursdays, I wanted to burrow my face into his chest. On Fridays, I wanted to be in his favorite jacket. On Saturdays, I wanted to fall asleep right on his shoulder. On Sundays, I wanted to just crawl somewhere, maybe inside his pocket, and stay there until I fall asleep. Most of the time, I look at this person and think to myself, damn, I like you, and then I’ll find myself smiling all of a sudden.

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Personal, Writings

The Human Brain

The human brain. How interesting. It’s like a stubborn little companion inside our nutshell of heads—it plays tricks on us right before our very own eyes. Ah, the human brain. Do we really own our minds, or are they just mere compilations of other people’s consciousness brushing against ours?

When we are wide awake, our conscious mind is on action. It sees what we see; the flowers, the sun, the trees, the birds—it hears what we hear; the soft breeze sound on a chilly Wednesday afternoon, the muffled Tullycraft song from the headphone of the boy sitting beside you inside the bus, the crunchy noise a dry leaf makes when you accidentally stepped on it—it feels what we feel; the sticky sweat of the athlete guy that hurriedly ran past you on the school corridor, the smooth pages of your newly-bought dotted notebook, the subtle and soft touch of skin from a friend you greeted this morning—interestingly, the human brain does nothing with all of that, but it does see, hear, or even feel everything.

Remember the last time you had a dream about someone whom you’ve never seen, talked, or even thought of, for a long time? Maybe the last single thing that will possibly make you think about that person would be a place–a significant place–you happened to see on Facebook. It was like a quick glance, a little, “Oh.” and that’s it. Not even a quarter of a second.

Yet your subconscious mind decided to make a big deal out of this by letting that person appear in your dream. It’s like a big ‘JOKE’ was stamped all over your face. The memories of that person, which you carefully buried into the deepest and farthest corner of your mind, was recovered once again to make fun of your existence.

It’s like the subconscious mind telling you, “Ha, what did you say? You’ll forget this person? Let’s see.” 

It’s funny in some ways, like how I’m imagining my subconscious mind to be these careless little workers slipping papers in and out of their little offices. One little information could trigger them and boom, they would all go crazy. Maybe because we store too much information inside our subconscious mind, and we filter only those that we wanted to think of and retain inside us as of a certain moment, that they already held too many secrets that we might never recognize anymore. The faces who were automatically tagged as ‘not important’, the names we chose to forget, the places we erased in our own maps, the feelings we’ve set aside until we finally forgot about them.

If I could have a peek inside my own mind, I would, but I guess I never will.

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August 12, 2018 // 1:45 p.m. // page 297

Personal, Random

‘See, I have chosen you.’

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Personal, Random

Call 911

feelings are so f***ing frustrating
feelings are so f***ing frustrating
feelings are so f***ing frustrating

Y’all, it’s been almost two months since my last post. I don’t really feel the need to explain myself (well, okay, first I lost my phone, and second, acads) so I’m out here surprising you with a not-so-formal blog post.

I just had to say that…

damn these feelings.

I swear to God, they are all a f***ing trap. Have I mentioned before how inconvenient these little shits are? They don’t let you sleep peacefully at night. They make you feel like you’re dizzy all the time, like you’re going to throw up all the f***ing time.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Am I just infatuated, or is this just a stupid admiration? Whatever, all levels of feelings are still feelings! How do I get rid of these?

Send help.

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Articles, TV shows/Movies

13 Reasons Why: A Review

I’ve been really busy these past few weeks because of school stuff, but ya girl’s also excited because it’s going to be her last year in college! Despite the tight schedule, I still give myself some time to rest and recharge.

Last week, I finished watching the second season of 13 Reasons Why. This original Netflix series was based from Jay Asher’s book. The first season of this show was released last year, and I was beyond excited that time to see if the show itself will give justice to the book. Well, it did not disappoint. This has to be one of the most controversial shows today, probably because it mainly tackles issues like depression, suicide, bullying, and rape.

This may contain spoilers, so for those who are still watching or are planning to watch it, read at your own risk.

The first season of 13 Reasons Why revolved about Hannah Baker and those people she included in her tapes. Some call Hannah an attention-seeker, or someone who just dragged everyone as her life went downhill. If this is how you depicted her story, then I don’t have a problem with it. Honestly, I have the same thoughts at first, but I then realized how brave she was for calling out those who bullied her. It was not an easy act. It’s not for attention, I mean, who will need it when you’re already dead?

I still can’t understand how other people felt sorry for Hannah’s bullies (Marcus, Bryce, etc.) for bearing the burden of her tapes but not for what they’d done with Hannah.

The thing with Mr. Porter, the school’s guidance counselor, also happens in real life with us barely noticing it. You cannot just tell someone to move on when they’re suffering. The least we can do is to let them know that someone out there’s always ready to listen, without ever making them feel that their own emotions do not matter at all.

Season two of 13RW revealed the details of Hannah’s story in season one. I love this show simply because it’s too real. These are all happening everyday. Some scenes are disturbing, it is true, but the show had done its part when it showed warnings at the start of each episodes that contained such scenes.

13 Reasons Why sends us an important message, which is to be mindful of our own actions. We can either be the bully, or the bullied. But, despite this, it is very important to know that there’s always a third choice. We can stand up for what is right, all the time.

Everything we do is our choice, and our choices will always affect everybody else.

Please, don’t be somebody’s reason why.

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Hello, Personal

Hello, May

Before I start a recap of my life happenings this month, I just have to say… it’s been a month since I made this blog! I know I’m not an interesting person at all, and so is my life right now, but it actually feels good having this kind of outlet for my unpopular opinions and stuff.

I’ve met a lot of awesome bloggers here, and even made friends with some of them too! That, I think, would be the highlight of my first month in the blogging world. To those who actually took time reading my posts, thank you for supporting me through your likes and comments. Know that I’m always out here, ready to send my virtual hug whenever you need one. Again, thank you!


So now, what’s up, May?

I’ve been really busy with all these school stuff going on right now, so I barely had enough time to make blog entries. I took this idea from a post on Facebook, except that it was called What Am I Watching Wednesday. Instead of making a weekly post, I decided to just make it more like a monthly round up of things that kept me busy for the whole month.

Let’s start!

On-Screen Obsessions

  • The 100! Season 5 is currently airing on TV, and a new episode comes out every Tuesday so I never had to binge-watch it. It’s really good, I love everything about this show!
  • Avengers: Infinity War made the world go crazy with its latest Avenger movie, and actually, that isn’t surprising at all. Marvel had always been my favorite when it comes to superhero stuff and all (sorry, DC fans) but I just realized that I’ve only seen like two or three Marvel movies before Infinity War. I’m on a Marvel Marathon now, 4/18 movies done!
  • This one I’ve seen on Netflix a number of times already. Never had the courage to start since I’m afraid I’ll be wasting my time. Lost In Space is child-friendly, and I must admit I’m kind of into this! Episode 4 and it’s getting better each episode.
  • One of the most controversial Netflix original series today, 13 Reasons Why. Usually, I’m not into books turning into movies or tv shows, but this one got me hooked up until the last second of the thirteenth episode. I haven’t started watching the second season yet, but this is one of the few I’m actually looking forward to.
  • A Love So Beautiful. A romcom Chinese drama, popular among Asian teenagers today. Occassionally, I watch K-dramas/Asian dramas like this one because their storylines are much lighter than the ones I usually watch. Well, I stopped watching this because I’ve already lost interest (thank you, spoilers).

Recent buys

  • Half of my skin-care products were snatched from my bestfriend. I recently saw tweets saying that Celeteque‘s Acne Solutions line really works miracles. I had to try it because I, too, had sensitive and acne-prone skin. Crossed-fingers on this one!
  • Bought a really cute shirt from Artwork the other day. It was a yellow shirt with a doodle of a sun on the front with the words ‘bright’ in it. I’m more of a shirt and sneakers type of girl so I really dig these kind of shirts.
  • A book! Nah, just kidding. I wished I had new ones, though.

Basically, my life is just a continuous cycle of school-tv series/movies-internet-home. Nothing extraordinary. Well, that’s me. I’m the extra, my life’s just ordinary.

Come on June, I’m ready!

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